Detroiters Quote Database

• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Sally Pomerantz. Just as lovely as I'd always imagined. I mean, wrong color but... just as lovely.

  - Sam Duvet
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  8:00? I can't at 8:00. I just can't. I have dinner with my wife, and I can't cancel.

  - Tim Cramblin
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Lea, that's small potatoes, we're workin' on a big ol potato.

  - Tim Cramblin
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Yeah, she points to the sign that says "nipple piercing," takes off her shirt, pulls down her bra. We see everything.

  - Tim Cramblin
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Biker's meaty, hairy hand grabs the daughter's nipple. - Pulls it out as far as it'll go. - Oh, it's farther than you think. - Yeah, it's way farther, man.

  - Sam Duvet - Tim Cramblin
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Biker pierces the nipple. Daughter moans. Drop of red blood rolls down her milky black breast. - No, milky white breast. - I pictured black. - Keep going.

  - Sam Duvet - Tim Cramblin
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  You know, the more i think about it, I don't think we can show a boob in a commercial.

  - Tim Cramblin
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  You got it. Two beers. Hot or cold?

  - Judy
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  And that's one murder that...had a happy ending.

  - Mort Crim
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Oh...no.

  - Tim Cramblin
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Wow. Normally I don't comment on the commercials, but that was very bad.

  - Mort Crim
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Oh, Happy Birthday!

  - Tim Cramblin
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Knock 'em dead, big Hank.

  - Sheila Portnadi
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  No! - No, Lea, you tanked it. - You shit the bed. - Absolutely blew it. - You blew it! - And it sucked!

  - Tim Cramblin - Sam Duvet
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Uh-uh. Let's dump his body in the woods and walk in there like nothing happened.

  - Sam Duvet
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  It's fine. Just very unprofessional.

  - Tim Cramblin
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  You know, that is weird.

  - Sam Duvet
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Excuse me? Out of our league?

  - Sam Duvet
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  For the first time ever, we tried woman on top. It was amazing. Then we tried it again, woman on top. Wasn't a fluke.

  - Eddie Champagne
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  I was able to last longer. It was like I was able to stall while she got what she needed. And then, when she was done, I flipped her over, and I went real fast, so I got what I needed.

  - Eddie Champagne
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  That night, I remembered I was married to my best friend.

  - Eddie Champagne
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Your commercial saved my marriage.

  - Eddie Champagne
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  Well, you know Tony. He just ran around like a chicken with his dick cut off.

  - Chrissy Cramblin
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  How's flipping that house going, you idiot?

  - Chrissy Cramblin
  

  

  
• Pilot, Season: 1, Ep: 1

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  You're the idiot, Chrissy. I bought this house for $20,000. And it's a lot harder than I thought.

  - Sam Duvet