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April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
I was talking about making the man ejaculate early.
- Sheila Portnadi -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
Gentlemen, thank you. You've made an old lady very, very drunk.
- Sheila Portnadi -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
No, no, no, no, no. We got that big pitch tomorrow. We have to get hammered so we can have a good night's rest.
- Tim Cramblin -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
This beer's giving me heartburn. I gotta switch over to Bob Seger's diet tequila.
- Tim Cramblin -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
Yep, I'm Tim Cramblin, and I'm gonna take a dump in the backseat of your car.
- Sam Duvet -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
Bad on you, swinging an aluminum bat to the back of your head.
- Sam Duvet -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
Thank God we're not at the zoo. That place stinks like shit!
- Sam Duvet -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
I got hit by a city bus, and Walt got me some of the money I asked for.
- Linda -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
I got arrested for drunk driving. I got found guilty and served six months. But I could tell Walt tried as hard as he could. He even cussed when we lost.
- Tony -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
Look, to be honest, I'm kind of a mack when it comes to dog bites. When the officer pulled you over, did you get bit by a dog?
- Walt Worsch -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
Ms. Portnadi, it looks like you got yourself a lawyer. And if we're being 100, it would help me out a ton if you get bit by a dog between now and the court date.
- Walt Worsch -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
Okay, well, I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't suggest it. And really, between you and I, it's really easy. Just wait until they're eating, and then you grab their crotch.
- Walt Worsch -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
A local man is in dire need of a kidney tonight and he's not telling anyone why.
- Mort Crim -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
Your Honor, look at my client. Now close your eyes. And imagine my client is not a woman, but a man. And black. And named Barack Obama. And imagine that this arresting officer is a dog, Your Honor. Well, Your Honor, this dog bit my client.
- Walt Worsch -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
Doner has way more money and way smarter people than you. So if this deal is good on their end, it's probably bad on your end.
- Walt Worsch -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
Ugh. I wouldn't jerk that guy off with Freddy Krueger's hand.
- Lea -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
Yea, nobody just talks like that, and plus it doesn't even make sense. Like Freddy Krueger's hand, like, the palm is still good.
- Sam Duvet -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
Well, you got to find somebody. We told them we'd find testimonials of people saying science is cool. And it's not gonna be convincing coming from a dork.
- Tim Cramblin -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
The word dork actually means whale penis. So I'm definitely not a dork.
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April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
No, they can't. These two guys are pieces of shit.
- Sheila Portnadi -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
We're two idiots who you call gentlemen every day.
- Sam Duvet -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
April in the D. April in the D. April in the D. April in the D. You got your Tigers, your Pistons, and your Red Wings, B. Everything you want right here in the D. Hardwood, ice, and so much grass. Slapshots, hits, and bouncing chest pass. April in the D. April in the D. April in the D. April in the D. Three teams. Three leagues. One dream.
- Tim Cramblin and Sam Duvet -
April in the D, Season: 2, Ep: 1meme it
What are you laughing at? Sorry it's not Bing Crosby.
- Tim Cramblin